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"Put together a good thinker, a savvy practical politician, and an excellent spiritual teacher and you have Donna Zajonc! She is saying to a larger world what many of us are only saying in our smaller worlds."

(Fr.) Richard Rohr Author of over a dozen books, including Simplicity: The Freedom of Letting Go

Talking Turkey: Tips for Talking Politics at the Holiday Table
November 2004
Donna Zajonc

Going home for the holidays can be stressful under the best of circumstances. But for many, this year could be more emotionally draining than usual.

Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday. This one comes only 23 days after a divisive presidential election. Americans will meet around the table with differing points of view and, perhaps, lingering raw emotions. Some may still be choking on their losses, while others will want to crow about their successes. The combination could be the recipe for a nasty case of heartburn.

If potential political strife could damage your holiday harmony, that people's mouths will be filled with politically incorrect statements in addition to turkey, the following tips could help bring you relief.

Be a Compassionate Winner

Family and friends whose candidate or issue lost may be feeling sad-even politically depressed. Have compassion and remember that ribbing and jokes said in fun can actually cut very deep.

Don't Talk With Your Mouth Full - or Listen Before You Talk

Invite political discussions with the intention of listening without judgment and with a desire to learn about the political values of your family and friends. When strong opinions arise, resist the urge to argue. You can deepen your understanding without having to agree with the other.

Stay Calm Even When Attacked

Your uncle may surprise you in the middle of your pumpkin pie with a direct attack on your political values. Under surprise attack, you might react with either fight or flight. Things you ordinarily wouldn't say or do happen and, before you know it, you're either digging in or stomping out of the room. Take a deep breath. Everyone has the right to be wrong. Honor that right by smiling and nodding noncommittally.

Be the Peacekeeper

During the holiday season, it's essential to make peace before leaving the dinner or party. Take responsibility for your own role in the conversation. Stop and ask yourself, "How am I contributing to the polarization? What have I said or done that might have caused this divide?" Then own up to it. Break the tension by offering how you might have accelerated the downward spiral. Use humor. It has the power to calm the most savage politically incorrect beast.

Have a Happy, Politically-Healthy Holiday Season

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the things in our lives for which we are grateful. At the dinner table, invite your friends and loved ones to join in this reflection. We live in a country where diverse political opinions are the foundation of our freedom. So, give thanks!

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Donna Zajonc is a Political Leadership Coach, a former three-term Oregon Legislator and was her party's nominee for Secretary of State. She has also managed several campaigns including a highly visible governor's campaign. Donna challenges her clients to prepare for public office with the same rigor that all professionals seek.